holy friggin cow...

OH BOY!

" I feel the power surge into my veins like fire sweeping across a sun dried field, or a flower reciving the blessing of dew from God's great bosom."

Things are different now you blog-posting, self-important, weasel-necked, pea-brained, over-hyphenated funk masters, because the big boy is back in play!

think of this as a warning shot over your bald young heads...

Yes, yuo heard correctly, i'm awesome, and you're not... my brain may be piecing itself back together, but it's still bigger than yours.

Things are going to change, and my name will be known.

"Ben Woodman" practice saying it, use it on your friends...

That is all for now,
YFL II

School's Back.

Yes it's true... school has started again, and that means two things... "stress" and "less money"... how on earth these two things should be allowed is beyond me... but its ok, because this is my last year of high school, and then I'm off to Really High School! (college)... being a senior isn't all it's cracked up to be... most underclassmen think it's some kind of privilage to be older than everyone but the teachers... but it's not, it's almost worse being older... because they expect more out of you! Enjoy your irresponsible youth and stay off the drugs!!

-YFL
And I Mean It! Don't Smoke IT!

6/6/06

Hello DBMers,

It's me YFL with an important news announcement! Today is what some "religious affiliations" like to call the day of the devil. It comes only once a century and quite frankly I think it's a load of horse shit. Because I woke up this morning with a sense of accomplishment and well being. This so called day of the devil has been cursed with such wonderful sunshine that some of these "religious afiliations" might just have to wear some something other than black! So I say to all you goat killing satanic freaks... get a job.

-YFL
Don't kill goats, you might end up working for one someday...

Rodney Mullen and the Band

Hey whats up DBMers? Lots has happened since my last post... and I'm not sure where to begin. So to solve the problem, I'm not going ot begin. I am in fact going to start with what I'm doing as of now. I am at the Pine Lake Corn Processors Ethanol Plant in Cleeves, Iowa. I'm pretty bored and it's raining. As some of you might have drawn up by now, today has been a very gay day. The title of this post is amazingly leading like, and makes you believe that this post will have substance and glamor. But you're wrong, all I would like to say is that Rodney Mullen is easily the best skateboarder in the long, awesome history of skateboarding. Screw Tony Hawk! That old fart couldn't even wet dream about the things Mullen does on that board. Plus he's too busy selling video games in order to support his Rascal fund. That and McDonalds owns his soul. Too bad, the same thing happened to Hamburgler. And about the DBM band, we are getting back together and we might actually maybe think about possibly recording some tracks and letting you hear them.

-YFL
Old people should just drop dead... (not really, just the hardass ones)

Whoa Buddy

You kids need to quit getting antsy, you ought to just take a break and drink some lemonade (its actually urine). So i propose an new idea (when i say "I" it actually means there's an underdog somewhere that needs recognition) I am going to make a new site where you darn fools can vent off a bit of the ole' piss and moan. It will be dedicated to stress relief and all that jazz. This new blog will be called "The Vent" and i hope you all die...

-YFL
I was kidding, but if dying is on the menu you might as well get your hair done.

Quit Whining

Since when do DBMers whine? I thought I had trained you to become self sufficient! But I guess I was wrong! Oh well, at least this habit isn't as expensive or deadly as smoking. So in this post I am just gonna keep on rambling until you people are satisfied with how much bull I have written. Studies show that you hardly ever read the posts that are over 9 lines long anyways. So if I make the posts over 9 lines then you won't read the entire thing for fear that you might be missing some very important 5 minutes of your life. So if you take 9 divided by 5 you get about 30 seconds per line and thats what I like to call your average reading rate (this average is pure nonsense and pertains to no actual study ever conducted) That is unless you are a student of AGWSR, then you have an average reading rate twice that fast of those E-NP fools. But then again, both schools suck big time so we wil leave it at the fact that Canada is top dog and that AGWSR and E-NP are bottom cats? (what the hell is a bottom cat anyways? I've been convinced that its some kind of fish, but who knows)

-YFL
I'll be back when I darn well please!

New Stuff...

So since I last checked in you were all suspensefully waiting for me to come back. And well, I have kinda come back only with alittle less gusto. And since there is such little gusto my topics are going to be a little more dry than usual. Todays topic will be, "Where Has Jyles England Gone To?"... So to kick this off I'll ask the obvious question, has Jyles died??? Or is he on a much needed vacation? Or, did he die on a much needed vacation? Who knows... nobody has heard from the guy in ages! So we are on a new mission, to find Jyles and bring back to school!!!

-YFL

Sorry, I Kinda Went Crazy...

So I'm back after a much needed "vacation". It wasn't really self discovery, it was more the fact that i had finally gotten nine hours of sleep... so it seemed like I was having a great day. But then things got hairy again, so I decided to get back on the job. Speaking of job, I have a current occupation at "The Worlds Best Kum & Go". So I have an houry salary, and I get to mop alot. It's a fun job, and well... you can't can't beat having money when you need it. So all in all I'm back, and probably won't be leaving any time soon. But since I have a real job now I probably won't be posting very frequently.

-YFL
Capitalism isn't so bad after all...

Self Discovery

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have just discovered something, it just so happens that I have stumbled upon my one true purpose in life. I knew things would lead up to this someday, but friday the 13th none the less. So I guess this is goodbye, because at this exact moment I have nothing to complain about. And I doubt I ever will, ever again... so sorry everybody, but I must stop this nonsense... Thank you, and enjoy your lives.

-YFL
Goodbye

Self Discovery

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have just discovered something, it just so happens that I have stumbled upon my one true purpose in life. I knew things would lead up to this someday, but friday the 13th none the less. So I guess this is goodbye, because at this exact moment I have nothing to complain about. And I doubt I ever will, ever again... so sorry everybody, but I must stop this nonsense... Thank you, and enjoy your lives.

-YFL

Being Bored Kinda Sucks

Have you ever been bored? Wait, why am I asking such a dumb question, of course you've been bored... otherwise you never would have found my site. But seriously, I am so bored right now. It really sucks. I keep having weird mental images run through my brain as well, stuff like dancing bolognas and paper shredders racing through time. Not only that, but I keep listening to oldies music. Stuff like "The Monkees" and "Simon and Garfunkel"... what on earth is wrong with me? Such peaceful music and symptoms of boredom... I'm sure if I explained this to my mom, she'd think I was high or something... But shes wrong, because getting high is wrong. So as we move along the mental images are getting stranger, stuff like cats with boots on and a baby chipmunk eating small children. I'm pretty sure that I'm going insane... but thats just fine eh?

-YFL
Maybe there's something in my water...

Beard-a-thon

Hello and welcome to the first annual DBM beard-a-thon. This is our first ever chance to grow an outrageous beard and win some kind of prize for it, so if you would like to join please contact me at uallfreakmeout@yahoo.com, and send me a picture of your outrageous beard. Local participants only please, unless u just want to win and don't care about the prize. And please don't try and cheat... I am smarter than that and will smite you for trying. I for one will be kinda participating, depending on how the missus feels about the subject, and you should too! So gather up all of your swarthy friends and lets get hairy!!!

-YFL
Female participants are welcome as well, just please have concern for my mental condition...

Let The Games Begin... AGAIN!!!

I've gotten quite a few complaints from the age group 13 and under about me cutting the games fromthis site... so I decided that we can get them back. Only this time its not some massive list, it's a handy dandy menu for you to select from! This menu is over there -----> in the sidebar somewhere... I'm sure you can find it. The only reason for cutting the games in the first place was it kept slowing things down and interfering with site developement... but now things are under controll and the games are back, be happy and shut up.

-YFL
Thanks for your constructive whining

Nice Work Everybody...

This has been a great year! Not only have I accumulated about $1.50 off of this site, but I've started something incredible. But I couldn't have done it without all of you. So I would love to take the time to thank the following people and organizations:

God- obvious reasons
Jyles England- constant inspiration
Andy Harrison- "allowing me" to make fun of you
Joel Slaughter- doing something... not sure of what it is yet...
Cory Bonzer- feeding the comment box like your own personal email system
Mrs. Nuss- patience
Anthony Brandt- constant flow of ideas
Wendy Clikeman- not kicking me out of your house
Bret Clikeman- providing me with the agitation that fuels my creativity
Scott Woodman- awkward conversations and support
Susan Woodman- leaving nice comments and making good cookies
Justin Bergius- having a last name that i have a hard time spelling...
Leif Stotser- having a fro
Amanda Gray- forcing your friends to visit this site on a regular basis
Dark- the second worst decision in my life
Kiana Elacqua- being cool even when we blew up your spiderman and crushed you pumpkins
Newb- always looking at the unpopular side of things
Parker Grimes- having a mohawk and sometimes providing good ideas
Google- the ads that nobody clicks on (hint hint)
All of the bands that I have taken their songs and played on my site- self explanitory
and last but not least...
Laura- for looking so beautiful and actually visiting my site...

-YFL
I thought of these off the top of my head... so if you were left out, you probably aren't that important...

E-Bay... America's True Colors

Doesn't it seem a bit odd that everybody you know has been screwed at least once by e-bay? You ask them how it happened, and they always tell you the same story. I've heard it a million times. It all starts a little like this:

"Ok, dude... I have just found the most amazing deal there ever was! I mean, this is perfect! I can purchase a small European colony for only $13.50! How awesome is that? All I need to do is hand over every last bit of identification I have short of my social security card..."

It seems so nice to see your friend so happy, and they always wanted that principality! But thats when things get suspicious. It sounds so much like a kidnapping story that you will hear on the news! And for some odd reason nobody does a damn thing about it. But thats not all, it progresses into a much scarier story... observe:

"Guess what? I totally put up a bid on that colony thing... I guess I'm getting it for a real bargain. I wonder if they'll make me king? Well... I'm gonna go check on my bid! YES! As it turns out I had the highest bid and I won the colony! OMG!!! I'm so excited! Sure it ended costing up to forty bucks for shipping and handling, but thats the price you pay these days..."

Little does your friend realize that you can't ship and handle an entire country... So theres screw job number one. And as you guessed it gets worse... checka this out:

"Hey, guess what? That whole thing was just a hoax, and now I'm out about $500... I'm not even sure what I was thinking... How could something be so great on paper, just so it can rape me in the end? I really wish there was some kind of justice in our world... Why can't anybody be trusted these days? I think I'm gonna give e-bay hell about this one!"

But as it turns out E-Bay is an unstoppable god in the internet world, and has a great deal of money. Not to mention all the lawyers you could hope for. They end up telling you that they are not responsable for whatever their clients do with your money or what they do with the merchandise. And then you ask them for the location of the monster that sold you that piece of god forsaken shit, and they tell you that they aren't sure. So then you are left helpless with a real pickle in your hands. Not only that, btu now you have nobody to trust and you might as well turn to a friend who will take you in at such a fragile time. But we here at DBM have a E-bay rehab clinic... and we are here to help you!

-YFL
This is all a joke, we really woudn't help you...

Christmas!!!

Hey everybody! It's your favorite time of year! It's a season of waiting in line for some worthless piece of crap that will be out-dated by June, or a season of fighting with relatives who somehow manage to get dumber every year! Not only that, but everybody has at least one aunt who thinks that everybody loves her "surprise salads". And thats not all, we all have at least one male relative who scrapes up some of thee worst jokes in the history of lame jokes. But on the other side of the spectrum, we have our beloved grandparents who somehow manage to put up with their pea-brain children. Not to mention the uncle who can belch every version of jingle bells known to man (including those containing verses about batman). But all in all Christmas is a time of realizing our differences, and strangling each other because of them. That along with an endless supply of egg-nog, and you've practicaly got yourself a hockey game. Hopefully in time we can all learn to throw some loving punches to our near and dear, and maybe next year they won't purchase all of the gifts at the fifty cent machines in front of Wal-Mart. But in the end we all end up with a lot of loot and a belly full of food/complaints (not to mention all of the booby trap and prank ideas your older cousins teach you). And just when you thought things were over, Happy New Years! As far as I'm concerned its just another excuse to get drunk, only this time nobody gets mad at you for it...

-YFL
I think grandma is trying to send us a message when she puts her ass under the mistletoe...

A Sad Day In History

Dear Adoring Public,

It is my in saddest regret that I inform you that Lee Wrich has passed away just this weekend. He was a good friend to my little brother and many of the people around him. He attended my church regulary and played violin at times. He will be greatly missed, and we all hope that his family and friends are in your prayers. Please take a moment of silence wherever you are in honor of a young man's life that was so tragically claimed.

-YFL
A little cheerier news will be coming shortly...

Cell Phones

Ok everybody, I must first appologize for not posting in awhile. I have been having one-o-them weeks or something... Well, anyways I got a cellular telephone... and well, as you might have guessed, I am officially addicted to using it... I have, by now, probably racked up quite an impressive text message bill. It is one of thee coolest things I have ever had the honor of owning. It's one of them Kyocera flippy dippy phones, and well its cool... not many people call me, and I don't blame them...

-YFL
I have officially abandoned my baby bird...

The Current Leader of This Poll --->

This, ladies and gentlemen is our current leader. His name is Andrew Wayne Harrison... He enjoys long walks on sharp broken glass, and watching the sun explode. He also enjoys the company filthy children and dirty nurses. He enjoys Poor Man Scramble and copying people he finds cool... Maybe he has the right to be our winner, and maybe this post will only launch his votes into double digits.

-YFL
For the love of God, do not feed Andy...

Sorry Everybody

Hey, it seems as if I have had a serious lack of posts recently. And all of you in DBM's usual appeal area know why. So please, bear with me while i attempt to scrape up something entertaining from the floor. So, I have had a rough week... almost as rough as the skin on your elbow. And well, I managed to escape from that hell hole they call "school". And I alos managed to stuff myself sensless before thanksgiving... I have also had two very bad caffine hangovers, and too much sleep. So my usual hilarity is quite dimished...

-YFL
It's really funny when cats lick 9 volts...

Why we need a photography class...

This, ladies and gentlemen, is one of thee scariest photos of me! Not only is it scary, but it looks kinda cartoonyish... some people have reported seeing this face in a dark room, thus resulting in a serious lack of sleep and wetting of one's pants. We at DBM are quite frightened of it (yeah right) and we hope you are too.

-YFL
You have all the power you can't handle...

Something Random!!!

Horribly random... Why do we obsess over the loss of society? It's the death of multiple people to try and save the values that kill them. Rape, violence, and theft are becoming accepted into our world. And why is that? Atheism my friends, atheism... we are losing our minds to the most narcissits "religion" of all time!!! They all say there is no God, so that must mean that they are God? Wait... how can you create yourself? Holy crap, that makes less sense than the big bang. How can we save ourselves you ask, Intelligent Design Theory my friends... thank you and keep things cool.

-YFL
more on this later...

Fun Weekend and A New Song

Hey hey, how is everybody out in DBM land? Totally had a fun weekend, without you!!! Unless your name is Parker... or anybody else who saw me. Well, lets start off with why my weekend was cool... Firstoff, it was a friday night game, my old school vs. my new school. Everywhere I looked, somebody knew me and wanted to say hi. And then I went camping in freezing weather! After a hard night of freezin' my arse off, we awoke to breakfast burritos, yummy... And then me and Parker (my cousin with an awesome mohawk) went to a "party" over at Kiana's house, we're good friends again, and we had a good time there. Mainly because we (meaning Parker, Jered, Jake, and I) blew up Kiana's Spiderman action figure, and then we hung out with some other folks and such. It was fun, and plus I was totally home on time (barely)... so I had an excellent weekend, and the new song is "Moving Mountains" by Kids In the Way.

-YFL
I live a block away from easy street, and you know it.

"Razorblades" by Story of the Year

It tis a great song, and its a great band... what a combo. How did u get so lucky as to get this kind of a treat? Did you do a trick? Or are you sucking up? No! Of course not! I just felt like bein cool and posting an excellent song! So please enjoy, and remember... DON'T SMOKE CRACK!!!


-YFL
A short post for the ADHD kids, they need entertainment more than any of you...

Holy Cats!!!

Hey peoples... how are you? As some of you may already know, I am a big fan of little kittens... now don't get me wrong, I'm still the ruler of this planet, but kittens are awesome. Especially this little guy:














I mean, com'on! How could you not love this little guy? His name is hobbes and he is now the official mascot of DBM. Not only is he extremely hilarious to watch, but he has horrendous gas... it's about bad enough to gag a horse. (and if you knew anything at all, you would know that horses have no gag reflex... and neither do rats)

-YFL
Don't forget to shake before you tuck...

The End of That Chapter

Today was one of those days... Me and Kiana just kinda parted our differences and split. No big deal to me, it seems to happen all the time. I have a four day weekend! So you can expect DBM to be out of control for about 4 or 5 days... I thought I had better post before people begin to worry. I will not be posting a picture of my knee, until it has healed and there is a wicked scar... I am officially single now, so look out. I'm gonna have a busy time keepin' all the ladies offa me... (really I'm joking, but it's fun to pretend)

-YFL
Gotta fend em off with a stick...

Jeegits!

In my last post, I made reference to my knee being infected... Well it was, and boy howdy! Right about now (October 9, 2005 at 6:11 PM) I have a dime sized hole in my knee... I would post a pic of it, but the graphicfulness was way too much for the average DBM attender... So yeah, it's quite nasty indeed, and it makes for a splendid scar potential... I'll be able to tell my children one day about this gaping orphace of puss. And then they'll tell me about their days at school, and about how many people were shot that day, and I'll say something like "Back in my day, nobody got shot, unless they had the flu!" and then I would cackle until I died of a stroke.

-YFL
This is why people don't like looking ahead...

Long Live The Orange and Green!!!

DBM IS BACK!!! My mother, who is at times useful, has fixed my site!!! Glorious heavens!!! I'm not sure how she did it, but halleluuigha (or however you spell that)... We will officially call this day, October 7, Deathbymuffins DAY!!! I was about to start a DBM2 just to keep u entertained, but decided that it would becomed fixed!!!



So in honor of my mother.... a rap song is in order.

My mom fixed my site
lets hope she doesn't fix me,
All this excitement has infected my knee...

All kinds of crazy,
things gettin hazy,
feelin kinda lazy...

Thanks mom ur kinda cool
otherwise, my site woulda been down the stool... hahahahaha

-YFL
I in no way, support rap or any other form of instrumentaless (wow, an instant classic right there...) music...

HELP

Kiana's Birthday!

Guess what folks? It's Kiana's B-Day today! So I would like everyone who manages to find the time to come to this pointless site, to sing some form of a happy birthday song for her. It will be cool... believe me. Another thing is, it's also my cousin Parker's birthday as well... you don't hafta sing for him, unless you want to. And it is also Amanda Gimzo's birhtday, again, sing if you wanna. There is also something new about my site that some of you have prolly already spotted. I have GOOOOOOGLE Ads on my site now, only click on them if you are "seriously interested" in what they are advertising... It makes me cash, and who knows, maybe they'll lead you somewhere more worthwhile than my site.

-YFL
Thanks, and good night...

Pink Panther and Pirates...

We here at DBM have decided to start a new trend. We are all converting to "piratism" (finally a clever word brought to you by YFL himself). This means that we are all pirates i guess. Me and my crew are the raiders of Pine Lake! We will plunder and pillage, ARRRRR. And we'll listen to the "Pink Panther Theme" while we do it! For those of you who are not as classy as us, the song in the background is the "Pink Panther Theme"... We are still searching for a sidekick, and as I was recently informed, Jyles England can neither read nor type... so he can't be the sidekick. But I'm entirely confident that the best sidekick is still out there, waiting to be discovered. Please enjoy this song as much as possible, and as always "keep things cool"

-YFL
We don't actually plunder and pillage... We just say ARRRR alot

Funny Pics Of My Goofy Self, Featuring Kiana

Above Top: Me and Kiana, I kinda got bumped outta this pic... but she's cool enough to save the picture from complete retardedness...
Above Right: Me making a face... It's not as good as the other two, but it'll do in a pinch...
Above Left:This is me being goofy, and I'm wondering why i'm showing you this.








-YFL
If you laugh, I'll cry... You'll live, and I'll die... I'll fall, you'll fly

A Whole Ton Load of New Visitors...

I would like to thank Mr. Dark (it's a dude) for bringing a bunch of new folks to my site. He has boosted ratings to a new high and has caused mass hysteria here at DBM. For some odd reason he has failed to give me his email address... because without that i cannot sign him up as an official member of this site. Thank you all for turning this ordinary blog into a massive beast of hype. I'm sure they'll come out with t-shirts that say "Vote for YFL" one-o-these days and i'll laugh... I have started a band just recently, it's still looking for a good name. The members are as follows; Ben Woodman= Lead Guitar, Vocals... Anthony Brandt= Triangle, backup vocals... Justin Hearing= Drums, moral support... Please don't help the people of Louisiana, they were all "naturally selected" by Katrina. Quite frankly i beleive that those little rubber braclets are the worst thing since rap music, and they need to be shotten (another classic word)

-YFL
Hate me for what I say, or hate me for who I am... neither will ever change.

"Don't Call Me White" by NOFX

Quite recently i have grown to enjoy the band NOFX... They have such a very opinionated view of capitalism that i seem to agree with. This song is funny and inspiring... and i like some of the vocals these guys do. As for "dark" he/she (I still have no idea what gender it is) is a retard... I was totally trying to make peace with him, but for some reason he'd rather be stupid (see the comments on the post before this one) and tell me to screw off... So I guess that's two sidekicks down the chemical toilet... third time's the charm! Hopefully this one is at least a funny failure (like jyles)

-YFL
GO PITTSBURG PENGUINS!

Finally, an enemy...

Dear Mr./Mrs. Dark,

I am pleased to inform you that you have won the honorary spot of "enemy of mine"... Due to your insufficient vocabulary and horrible grammar, we at deathbymuffins are going to do nothing outside of the US constitution. But we can guarantee that if you do not cease fire at once you will be" ousted" (another word brought to you by Anthony Brandt). And if anyone who goes by the name of Beavdar or andy or something along those lines contacts you about a penguin army, do not be alarmed... he's a dumbass. As a matter of fact, beat up on him on your site instead of me. He deserves it almost more than me. Plus that word "sandwerch" is grade "A" DBM (death by muffins) material. Due to your last post, which displayed many of my own character traits (laziness, meanness, coolishness, making up wordishness...) I have decided that I will give you a trial period on DBM. We will work you in one of these days, and the position is yours if you choose to accept it.

-YFL
P.S. I'm gonna need ur email address for the invite dealy...

This my totally cool new hair-do.. or hair-don't u decide and tell me what u think...
Pic by YFL

All that noise...

In this paticular post, there is an embedded message... If any of you can find it I"ll give you a dollar. So here we go:

Today I was at a lake, eating food at a church potlacht (pot-luck)... There were some pretty good eats there, but the chicken was raw. I especially enjoyed the potato salad. And the deserts weren't too bad either. But again, the chicken was still raw... And it wasn't like it was a little underdone either, it was full blown raw. Except for the bredding, which just so happened to be cooked to perfection. But the meat inside was as if it had just thawed on my plate. Ummm so yeah, it was like the nastiest thing ever... (except for travis' rotten egg incident...)

I hoped you enjoyed my encoded message post, it was fun and like i said, if you can find the secret message... then you get a dollar.

-YFL
This should keep you busy for at least a week...

Some song in German

I thinn k the name of this song is Raum Der Zeit, but I'm not sure... Anyway this song is for our foreign exchange student Rio, who just so happens to be from Germany... Ummm i really don't think he likes me much. I don't know why. Beavdar has colored his hair jet black and we have re-nicknamed (another made up word) him Won Ton, mainly because he looks asian now...

-YFL
this freakin toaster is starting to piss me off...

FIRED!!!

As of now, Skater is fired. Due to lack of posting and lack of contact. The entire team here at DBM has come to the decision that she has died... And we are continuing the search for "Sidekick" again... My computer was broken, so thats why i haven't posted in a while. It is well on it's way to becoming broken again... Beavdar suggests that it is becoming a toaster.

-YFL
At least It will provide toast...

"Wee-Bag" and "Time to Kill"

Long time no post, eh? Costa Rica was awesome, and you can read all about it on a little site I made called weelittlebag.blogspot.com... It is the story of my trip to costa rica from the view of this little suitcase we have... Ummm you kinda have to see it to get it. The new song is "Time to Kill" by Alkaline Trio. Quite honestly, I think they are one of the best bands in the world. You can decide for yourself, unless you are an American. Because then the government will decide for you. By the way if anyone besides Legendary S···head wants to be the real sidekick, please write a "small sample" of your work in the "comment box." Thanks and stay off the meth...

-YFL
Just joking chipster, I´ll give you another chance...

A New Low...

Everyone, I am sorry to say that I have sunk so low as to go to the local library just to post again... All around me are intellectuals with minds bigger than my ego. I am sorry to say that I actually enjoy this ultra speedy computer... I feel so intellegent and unbathed (don't ask). As for the sidekick, she was a beautiful let down... (listen to Switchfoot, and you will understand) If a post is not conjured by the next time I feel one should be conjured, she will be fired and the search for a new sidekick will be intiated. The school year is poking it's ugly head out from behind the corner and unless the Costa Rica Nationalists (if there is such a group) kidnaps me, I will be attending school at the wonderful AGWSR High school for at least one more year. It's not that I don't enjoy school, I just don't enjoy trying...

-YFL
I will get a new song when I *gosh darn feel like it...

*Is a family censoring word... put in place to protect virgin ears from the truth of the real world.

The Sidekick!

If some of you out there have not already noticed the contributors list to the right---> (for those who don't know right from left) I have chosen the newest addition to the deathbymuffins team! Her name is Kristy, and yes andy, she is very hot... Why she has not posted yet is beyond me. I think that if you were given unlimited (not really unlimited) freedom to say anything you want on the most popular blog in the AGWSR community, that you couldn't wait to get started w/ corrupting peoples minds! Of course you must realize that she is only a sidekick, and will not be replacing America's least favorite celebrity (me). If anyone else would care to join our team please say so and I will gladly deny all of your requests... The current members of the DBM team are as follows;

YFL= Ben Woodman
Skater= Kristi Richardson
2nd in command= Jyles England
Beavdar= Andy Harrison
*EvilTwin= Wendy Clikeman (my mom)
Acidh3r3t1c= Parker Grimes
*Berg= Matt Berg
*Travis= Travis Bonewell
*La Prima Weird= Amanda Gray
and last but not least, "THE MAN"=Anthony Brandt (I'm using his computer since mine is toast right now)

-YFL
Thank you DBM team for all the "help"

*= do not actually do anything, they are just there to make the list longer...

"Now's the Time" by Slick Shoes

I'm on the top of the world! Too bad the ozone is frying my butt off! This is a good song, and you should like it! If you don't like it, take a number and you will be shot at a later date... As for stuff that isn't offensive, oh wait everything offends somebody nowadays... So i say, lets be offensive! IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY ALL CAPS, TOO BAD! if you are offended by a lack of caps, too bad! If you are offended by the phrase "too bad", too bad! HAHAHAHA!

-YFL
I am offended by people who are offended...

Ok, hold on one friggin second...

Number one on the Sked-jal (see the post back on schedule)= I cannot find the song "Swing Life Away" by Rise Against... I would be more than glad to put it on if i could find it. Second on the list= All people who do not appreciate loud music should leave and not come back until ur done whining... I nor anyone else important has the patience or time to give a friggin care about ur problems. As for the new song it is "Party Hard" by Andrew WK... it's not the best, but it'll do in a pinch. And as long as I am YFL I will not be putting any form of Greenday on this site. They suck, they always have and always will... And if you are one of those people who are going to whine about not getting any Greenday, please read the second item on the list again. I am sorry for the sudden burst of anger towards idiots, but i get enough of that at school, home, etc...

-YFL
The next song will be better I promise...

Here is a drawing i did for this site... it's pretty good i guess. Since this is my first post of artwork, ur gonna hafta bear w/ me again. But i like the drawing and you should too.
Pic by YFL

Here ya go ladies, how about that mackin' fool! This will probably be the last pic of me on this site. Mainly cuz i don't get very many comments on the picture posts... I don't think anyone wants to see me being goofy anyway. But Linkin Park is evidently the next song of choice... The majority voted and said LP RULZ! so i think that is pretty self evident.
Pic by YFL

1000th Visitor!

Today is a great day in my sites history! We (i mean I) have attracted a total of 1000 people to this horribly hopeless site! With crappry games and crappy humor I managed to bring in so many people... this just goes to show that America has no interest in the finer things in life, but rather it has an interest in liars, theives, and low grade humor. This is proof that Adam Sandler will soon become richer than most people because he is just like you! Senseless, rude and degrading! But thank for coming to my site, I cannot wait until i reach yet another meaningless number of drones who would rather laugh at the handicapped than go and serve the homeless... Shame on you, and shame on me.

-YFL
keep up the good work America, hahahaha!!!

Fourth of July!

Today is a great day to appreciate the freedoms we think we have! As for myself I will be blowing up a small piece of this so called free nation! (even though it's illegal in this state) I still think that the revolution was a good idea though. All we had to do was beat the snot out of the brits and then piss on the indians! What a priceless idea! (sarcastic tone) Then we went and beat up the mexicans and the french! And then we hauled a bunch of africans over here to clean up the mess and do all the work... whew what a great country!

-YFL
Next: Canada

another pic of me, again not the best but bear w/ me
Pic by YFL

New Song

Hello everybody (hot ladies included),

I put a new song on my site! It is called "Screamin For Justice" by Agent 51. It's a good song and sounds nice... I will probably be posting more often here real soon, but yeah. I will also be putting a more professional pic on my site... this one kinda sucks! Plus my hair looks better right now! See you all when i see ya.

-YFL
enjoy the music...

I told you I would send a phtmj and look, here it is. It probably isn't the best picture, but whatever...
Pic by YFL

Background Song...

I have been blessed w/ a background sound dealy for my html! It lets me play a song in the background of my site... and while I am writing this the current song is "New Noise" by Refused. It isn't that bad of a song, and it works well w/ my site. If you do not like it, turn down your sound (those who needed that tidbit to help w/ thier problem should be shot... mainly because you are a: a whiner and b: an idiot...) Other than that my hair is now platinum blonde and I will probably post a photomojig (which for you idiots is *.phtmj).

-YFL
* .phtmj may or may not exist. So please if you or a friend are an idiot, do not start saving files under something like "MYRETARDEDDOCUMENT.phtmj"... Thank you.

Wipies!

I hate those little wet wipes! They are what's ruining our immune systems! Weakening us against household germs that if ignored for long enough could kill at least one person! After a while these germs will be come immune to the wipies and will spread like mad! Of course, that is if the soccer mom's* would have there way w/ us! Them and their scotch-0-roos! They probably force that darn mac and chesse down those poor little kid's throats! (I think I'm getting a little out of hand with the exclamation points) But that's enough for me right now, think I'm gonna go take a dump and wipe with those atrocious wipies!

-YFL
*Soccer moms are not always parents of kids who play soccer, they are just those ladies that always are making treats and goodies for the whole freakin' neighborhood. But before eating their delicious and fattening treats you must use the wipies to kill the "ebola" on your grimy little fingers!

Cultural Change...

Dear Americans,

Our American culture has been poisoned by just about everything out there. No one loves art, and no one loves good music. Not only that, but we can't find any decent food in this country! Unless you count that foreign food. That's pretty good. But it's not ours. So I've decided to find something American or Canadian and call it my culture. All the Americans have is Maury Show, WWF, and RAP MUSIC! At least the Canadians have hockey. We have what, baseball? Baseball sucks! I mean at least the Mexicans have soccer, that's even better than baseball. Oh yeah I forgot about the good ole' American hot dogs! You can have a hot dog while you watch baseball! You can have it! I'll keep my hockey!

-YFL
You poor poor Americans cancelling the NHL...

The New Name...

I have decided to chnage the name of my site, it needs something catchy and cool... I was thinking you guys could help. Most of your suggestions will be shot down due to a crappy mood, but will be brought back for reconsideration at a later date. If you do suggest anything crappy just to begin w/ I will have to tell you to stop and leave before someone has to escort you to the nearest trash compactor. So you get the picture right? Post a comment on this post and tell me your not-so-very-crappy idea!

-YFL
No more revolution names please...

Hockey Games

I think that hockey just so happens to be the greatest game on the planet. I mean like blood and gore goon hockey... Where you have mothers and old ladies screaming curses at the refs! Mothers w/ children! Then they have more fights than goals, and the beer is so expensive that people show up drunk to save time... Then you leave w/ an invigoration that makes riots in the street and crash your car into an orphan cancer center! (actually that has never happened and it was mean of me). But hockey is still great!

-YFL
Take out your teeth and fight those east coast B*****S

Mullets!

Mullets have got to be the worst thing that has ever happened to mankind. Only being beaten by taxes and rap music... But back to mullets. They are ugly, impractical, and they share a name with an ugly and impractical fish. Some say that they are "business in the front and a party in the back", but the only kind of party I see it being like is one where everybody is showing up tanked and barfing all over themselves... as for the business, well it would be like one of those businesses where people go there once and realize that everyone who works there is a total jerk, and the secretary is really nasty... But if you have a mullet, do the humane thing and just cut t off and get a mohawk!

-YFL
This was a lot of fun... seriously.

Cereal Names!

Hahaha! (triumphant laugh) Well anyway, have you ever looked at a box of cereal and thought about the name, I have and it's great... Like look at Rice Crispies! Or you could call them Crice Rispies! Or maybe you could call that one stuff Chuky Larms! But enough of that, or not... Tinnomin Croast Cunch (teehee) <(midget laugh)!

-YFL
Sorry for the retardednessisms (that's not a word)

The Catholic Mess, and my school...

No offense to the Catholics, but they have a lot of wierd stuff going on in their religion. The Pope for example is way off by now, and all of these Virgin Mary spottings are almost as bad as the UFO things man! Why not make a whole bag of ole rida fries in the shape of Mary, get em all fired up! They say that the end of the world is near every 1,000 days and we as the Protestants finally see what Martin Luther and John Calvin were talking about when they said "those catholics ain't right..."

And my school is sooo hating me for my blog! They think I'll be posting foul and obscene words! I haven't yet and don't ever plan on it... Of course I have no control over the others. They can do what they feel and I won't intrude. I mean come on, get out of the 50's! They swear on TV, and they swear in video games, and they swear in our english books for crying out loud! Uh-oh, now their gonna ban english and the whole languge. Then we'll have to start speaking french or spanish, or german. Who knows anymore!?! I say let us blog or let us die! (not really, I just got a little carried away)

-YFL
Sorry to my catholic friends and every one else w/ a problem

The 444th visitor!

I am the 444th! Yes that means that none of you get 5 bucks from me! SUCKERS! Well maybe I'll give it to jyles or somebody retarded like that...

-YFL
You are all losers...

Public Complaints and Musings

My Aunt has a site, and it isn't too bad,
Crap like this always happens, and it makes me sad,
She wants me to say something cool about her site,
But I don't think that'll sound too right...

We need one of those 70's jingles in the back ground for the hell of it...

-YFL
Sorry about the ad, She had one forme on her site and so yeah...

This new guy...

I'm really not liking this new guy for Paul Harvey, all he does is talk real fast and make horrid jokes! His name is something like W. Smith something, and I don't like him.

-YFL
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls doesn't walk...

Another joke...

This one isn't too bad, you can tell me if it is funnier than the other one:

By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office. "You've got to have a room somewhere" he pleaded." -- Or just a bed - I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager," and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired travelers assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning Dave came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time" said Dave. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," Dave explained." I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

-YFL
I don't recommend this, especially in California (if you know what I mean)

Extreme Butter Knife Technology!

I was just in art class when I had the greatest idea! You could have a fabulous piece of toast without tearing it with your cold butter! All you have to do is send me $19.99 plus S/H and we will be enjoying our toast with maximum efficiency! Hooray for toast!!!

This product is property of Ouch decks and all of it's affiliates, if any replication is made of such a product you will be laughed at and then have a horrible love life... Te previous ad was a joke unless you send me the cash, then we might do something like that...

Dieses Produkt ist Eigenschaft der Plattformen Ouch und der ganzer er ist Teilnehmer, wenn irgendeine Reproduktion von solch einem Produkt gebildet wird, das Sie werden gelacht an und ein schreckliches Liebeleben dann zu haben..., Vorhergehende Anzeige Te war ein Witz, es sei denn Sie mir das Bargeld schicken, dann konnten wir etwas wie das tun...

Este producto es característica de las cubiertas de Ouch y todo el él es afiliados, si cualquier réplica se hace de tal producto que usted será reído y entonces tener una vida horrible del amor... El anuncio anterior de Te era una broma a menos que usted me envíe el efectivo, después puede ser que hagamos algo como eso...

Ce produit est propriété des plate-formes d'Ouch et tout le lui est des filiales, si n'importe quelle réplique est faite d'un tel produit que vous serez ris et avoir alors une vie horrible d'amour... L'annonce précédente de Te était une plaisanterie à moins que vous m'envoyiez l'argent comptant, puis nous pourrions faire quelque chose comme cela...

-YFL
Aren't my language skills awesome!

444th Visitor...

If you come to my site and you see that the counter says 444 then you will recieve a prize... All you have to do is comment to me that you were the 444th visitor and you will get a prize!

YFl
No Cheating! (I have ways of telling who does it...)

I'm BACK! (or who knows anymore)...

Yes, it is in fact me YFL, and I am back for now. I was off defeating the horrible organization evilness and now I"m doing just fine, not like you'd care or anything... But yes! and HOORAY, and TAGLIABOO! And you were all so helpful w/ your comments and your happy burthday wishes! Please don't be afraid to comment in the future!

YFL
Speacial Thanks To:
Moobaggins
Wierd Cousin/ Amandatheevil/ Amandatheposer/ Amandatheidiot
Punk Jock Thing
2nd in command
Cory/ Sage in war
Travis Bonwell
Jonnynostars
Brigader VonWulf
Beavdar
And last of all annonymous posters!

Brought to you by Ouch decks©

I cannot continue...

sorry everybody but I can't continue until maybe this summer or sooner... I hope you can entertain yourselves w/ games until I get back!

YFL
Don't Leave!

Today is wierd...

I am having one of those days when you finally realize how futile it is to try... Everytime I try I lose... So I've decided that i will be moving somewhere remote and hide from the world... I may or may not ever post on this site ever again, but if I do you will no that YFL has found a reason to carry on and amuse you... If you have any reason why I should not stop posting, please tell me in my little comment box thing whatever.

YFL
Not Quite A Legend...

I love this picture! It is just so funny... plus polar bears are just so majestic looking! I bet he eats caviar and small children for breakfast!
Pic by YFL

Hello everybody and welcome!

Sorry about the lack of posts, I know how much you love my dull wit and hardly hilarious commentary on life... but now I'm back and could care absolutley less about you or your problems, but that isn't very good for ratings so I am fully ready to listen to your complaints/comments today. Fortunately I won't be reading any of them today because I am going fishing/golfing today and won't have time for you or your kin! "Fishing/Golfing!" you might say. You can in fact do the both of them in one day... It is hard and requires courage and crisco, but that secret will be revealed later (devilish laugh).

YFL
Please feel free to whine, or wine (whichever suits you best)

A few changes...

If you haven't noticed already, I've deleted a few entries that sucked... horribly. And I"ve added a game menu at the bottom of the page! I promised games, and that is what you get! Not just one game, but a number that I can't count to of games! I put some games that most people like and a few that really suck, but whatever... It was like a vacation package to some tropical island, only there were hurricanes and alot of old fat people there...

YFL
Please vegitate on my games for a second...

GAMES!! YEAH!

I am trying very vey hard to get games on this site, mainly pacman but all i can do right now is try! If you have any suggestions, please leave me a comment! I will greatly appreaciate that...

YFL
games are great!

This is me, and that is a very small frog... If you really want to know, that is my really cool 'Veteran Coat'. It smells old...
Pic by YFL

Old words from like the 20's or something...

Have you ever talked to one of your grandparents or older and they use a word that is sooooo old sounding that it's almost cool? I have and it just blows my mind that these great words have dissaperated from our daily lingo! Words like swell, as in "boy this is swell!" or "jee wilikers this is swell!". Or a word like gumption. Gumption! I think I'll say it one more time just to reiterate the fact of how old and cool it is, GUMPTION! It's a word that just make you want to cast a kitten! Maybe you could cast that kitten at a drugstore cowboy! Then you could tell that cowboy and his kitten to move his tookus and get a wiggle on! This sort of speakin' gives us all the heebie-jeebies!
And for that matter you might be telling me that I'm full of hoopey, or I've fallen out of the rocker! But really I know my onions, so go dry up you old codger!

YFL
That was a real sockadollager!

Paul Harvey, News and Comment

Good Morning Americans! is a commonly heard phrase by me, and it seems to have grown on me like an infectious disease... But strangley i like it and i don't care. But Paul Harvey is the last bit of culture we have left that hasn't been corrupted by anything other than theragesic and select comfort beds... He is the best news source for anyone who doesn't need to get a load of swear words and medialistic views on which celebrity is marrying who or what for that matter... From now on, Paul Harvey will be the Official radio news program of the Underdog Revolution. He cares about his listeners and will forever continue his program until the end of his days.

YFL
Good Day!

Very odd things have been happening lately...

I was at a concert this weekend, and my friend Anthony, who was mentioned in the funny words episode, was there. But we had gone to the rest-room in a pizza hut and were takin' leaks and washing our hands when my father grabbed anthony by his pants and depantsed him! Not only did his pants come off but so did his boxers! And we were all scared out of our minds! The funny thing was is that he just kept washing his hands like nothing happend with his pants around his ankles! Then he wadled over to a paper towel machine and dried off his hands then he pulled up his pants and walked off! It was pretty funny...

Thanks for your time,


YFL
Goodbye

GOOD MORNING PUTNAM!!!

Hello and Welcome to the World of Mine! Almost every other word is capitalized in my mind so that's how it is in the first sentence! We will continue on the funny words discussion some other time, but now it is time for YFL's (your fearless leader's) story time! So here It goes;

Today in my Drawing class, Me and my fellow colleagues were "Painting". This is strange because I'm in drawing class and we are painting, and in my painting class we are drawing! This is completely throwing me and myself off! But that's not the wierdest part of my day! My friend (who shall not be named for saftey reasons and because of how embarrassed he would be by this story getting out) was poking holes in chicken eggs and letting the insides leak out to hollow them. "What is so strange about that?" you might ask, well shut-up and I'll tell you! He was blowing into the holes to allow the process to go a little faster, but something was blocking the exit hole and he couldn't figure it out. So me and my intelligence went on over and tried running hot water through one hole and letting it come out the other, but that didn't work! So we decided that our art teacher wouldn't mind if we cracked this baby open to see what was blocking the hole! So when we did, we found that a baby chicken had died, rotted, and became unrecognizeable to any casual passerby. Not only that but it smelled like it was at least a year past it's prime! That's not it either! There were more of these little guys in all the other eggs as well! I was like, "oh that would explain why the water was going through!" And my friend quick popped some gum in his mouth and continued on with the rest of his day without even thinking of what he had just put his mouth on!

Your Fearless Leader
Maybe you can count your chickens before they rot...

Back on schedule...

I like the word schedule, you can pronouce it like shed-u-all, and it sounds really, really cool. Unless somebody else has already used that one and it's really, really old. But on a second thought, maybe you could pronounce it in some other crazy and outrageous way! Like sked-jall, or AGENDA! Man, I could make a serious living just by saying schedule in some awesomely funny, and original way! Or maybe i could say the word tungsten, you know the stuff they put in lightbulds and stuff (the word tungsten brought to you by Anthony Brandt, he's the man). Or maybe you could use that one word, PURGE! Purge is another great word... or plush. plush is like flush, but with a little "p" in it! (nobody actually laughs at my horribley immature joke) I also don't like it when someone says it like matuer, you know all frency and stuff! The guy is of German/Irish decent but he is still speaking french! but i guess that's it for me...


Your Fearless Leader
Anthony is the MAN!

(paid for by Your Fearless Leader for president)

Day 3 in my little revolution...

Maybe i should just stop with those little dots. But i am here to tell you about that evil little man named Cap'n Crunch! I hear he's not even a captain! Plus his freakin' cereal cuts the roof of your mouth! That very evil little "captain" has cut me for the last time! I also will reveal the evil of using the same knife for jelly, peanutbutter, and the real butter! It leaves the wierdest tasting bite of toast you've ever had!
Your fearless (breakfast) leader
resist the cap'n

Homestarrunner and other stuff...

I tend to like the three little dots to trick you into reading my pointless blogs...(look out it's the dots) But i think that homestarrunner.com is freaking hilarious, but i can't find the sbemail with the one legged puppy! Why can't i find it??? Maybe i'm just retarded or something...(hahahaha the dots again!) Oh yeah the other stuff...(just for fun I'll do it again)...(man this is great!) ok back to business, i can't stand how many of you people treat these blog things like their your little perversion station!!! Please think of all the monkies you are killing! Please!!!!!!...(now it just got really, really old)
Your Fearless Leader
...(now i hate those little #$%&!'s)

Something kind of funny...

Sometimes in our live we all discover we are as hopeless as the next, ungodly deformed circus freak that so happens to cross our paths. But we still manage to judge them for their wierd third arm, or fifth ear or one earlobe being bigger than the other, or maybe it's just an enormous zit on the back of their neck that makes you want ot pop it soooo bad but you keep your distance, because who knows what it might look like to a passerby when your halfway up some seniors back and your poping the "Zit of the Century!", but back to the point, we shouldn't judge people, unless they have that huge freaking zit, just joking...DON'T DO DRUGS!

Your Fearless Leader
(try to resist the urge to pop it!)